In order to cure my inspiration deficit, I thought that a brief nap, and perusing a periodical would help. The nap definitely helped; the periodical was this week's Newsweek, and it was devoted to letters and e-mails from the soldiers killed in Iraq.
I was stunned by their truth, honesty and courage; and I feel sick, that their lives were sacrificed, needlessly. The majority of stories that were used came from individuals, who died as a result of roadside bombs-IEDs. I don't have the energy to launch into a tirade about war, its causes, and the politicians who use it, (they all do, every damn one of them).
This was all compounded by stories written and researched into the background of all the drama. This morning I read a rather long piece about how good it was for Americans that the Saudi Arabian King was not coming for dinner (that Washington was planning in his honor.) The article went into great detail about the complicity between the Americans and Saudis regarding the Middle East, going back to 1986-it was mortifying to me that we are never told about the backroom deals.
I digress, the gist of all this has left me disheartened, disenfranchised and heartsick. As one soldier pointed out in his letter home, why were people protesting to treatment of chickens for Ben & Jerry's ice cream, when there was wholesale slaughter occurring daily in Iraq? I am totally unable to respond to that. My life goes on writing blogs, washing dishes, walking my dogs and planning what to do with my retirement. That young man will never have to worry about retirement, or even his 20th birthday because he was fighting and dying for us.
I feel so totally impotent, and then I get an e-mail from my Congresswoman, thanking me for my concern about cockfighting. God, what have we become? I feel sick and weak, and sad, and it makes my heart hurt. I cannot even summon anger or righteous indignation. I just hurt; I hurt for those young men and women and for their parents. And for their young babies and their wives and husbands.
What on earth are we doing and why?